God has brought me through so much over the past several months…really since the beginning of the year. Most recently I’ve been wrestling with Him about what to do now that I graduated from the Honor Academy and have returned home. It’s been a tough few weeks, I must admit…much harder than I had thought they would be. Yet, I realized, it has been due to my own stuborness that I have had such agonizing times.
Today I had my second job interview, for Bank of America, (the first being at Starbucks). I had hoped that I would get the job, but when told they had someone more qualified than I was for the position I’d applied for, I wasn’t too disappointed. Yes, I was disappointed, but not necessarily in the way you might expect. It was a group interview, for several different positions in the DFW area, with the interview itself taking place in Irving, a good 30-40 minute drive from my house. All in all it went well – it was a bit different, but what do you expect when interviewing with 13 other people? In the conversations that occurred while we were waiting for various aspects of the interview to take place, I had the chance to talk with one of the guys who was also there for the interview. He already has a BA, and is now going for his Masters, and was applying for a teller position, with the mindset of potentially moving up in the company. And that was it.
It wasn’t until I was really reflecting back and thinking about today, my disappointment at not getting the job, and yet the relief, that I had something more worthwhile in which to invest my time and energy, right at my finger-tips! GFA.

One of the major things I had been struggling with towards the end of my second year at the HA and in the following weeks, was my fear of God calling me to be on staff with Gospel for Asia. Why? Because that would mean I would have to raise support and live off of that until the Lord directed me elsewhere. You might think that after being at the HA for two years, that wouldn’t seem like such a bad idea…yet as you also might know, it’s a daunting prospect – not one I looked  forward to at all! In fact, that was the main reason I was afraid to be called on staff – that I would need to raise support permanently!

This evening I realized that I had finally surrendered my fear of support raising for GFA, as well as my fear of not having a job that paid well or the work was enjoyable. Sure, I would still like to earn some money, and I haven’t given up looking, yet, it’s different now. My first and foremost thought and prayer now is that I will go wherever the Lord has for me, willingly and whole-heartedly. I have no idea where that might be, nor what that might look like, yet I know it will be what the Lord has planned for me! And I’m excited to see what that might be! In the meantime, I am going to seek to make the most of each opportunity that I am given – be it to clean up the house, help out at GFA, or come back to campus for ESOAL (which is still a possibility!).